Why I Agree With Chip Wilson, Founder of Lululemon

*Originally posted on November 16, 2013*

So Chip Wilson, founder of Lululemon, addressed the common complaint against Lululemon’s yoga pants: They are pilling easily and are too sheer. His comments can be found here, along with information regarding a petition that has been started to have the company make clothing for sizes 14+. Currently, Lululemon only carries up to size 12.

So here’s the thing. I don’t think the guy’s 100% right, and I don’t think that he should have said that out loud. But I also 100% disagree with Lululemon making clothing in bigger sizes. And here’s why:

We all know someone who is thin, fit and in love with their Lulus, but who doesn’t buy them anymore because they are not of the same quality that they once were. Please note, I said we all know someone who is thin and fit. Meaning, even small, petite people find Lululemon’s clothing to be pilling and perhaps more sheer than they used to be. So, on that account, Mr. Wilson, I don’t agree with you. It’s not necessarily body type that determines whether the pants pill and become sheer. He did say, however, that women wear them with seatbelts that rub and purses that rub and that that is a contributing factor in the compromise in quality of material. And that’s a whole different rant. Why are women wearing yoga pants out and about and not just to yoga? They’re called yoga pants. Stop wearing them to school, work, the grocery store, the movies, really anywhere that isn’t a fitness yoga class.

But, I digress…

It’s not just plus-sized people who find this clothing line to be of lesser quality than it used to be. So, strike one for Mr. Wilson. But, I don’t think that Lululemon needs to make clothes that fit all people, or even a wider range of people. Why? Because that’s not their target market. Lululemon provides people with very expensive athletic wear. And they are targeting the sizes that society generally views to be ‘healthy’, 0-12. 14+ is considered ‘plus-size’ and there are designated stores to buy those sizes. If Lululemon begins to sell their clothing in sizes 14+, then I want Forever Yours Lingerie to sell size 32A and XS panties. If Lululemon begins to sell size 14+ pants, I want Addition Elle to sell size 00 pants. It’s not body shaming, it’s a store selling to their target market.

Speaking of body shaming, apparently it’s not okay for stores like Lululemon to say that bigger women aren’t meant for their clothes, since people immediately assume that means that bigger is ‘bad’. But it is apparently okay for plus-sized women to post things like this and this, insinuating that thin is ‘bad’. I am inundated with these pictures on my Facebook newsfeed from plus-sized women that I am friends with who frequently post messages with this sentiment. You know what? Sometimes people are just born thin. I have friends who have shed tears over being called “disgusting”, “anorexic”, “sick”, and “unhealthy” for being the thin size that they naturally are. Or for working hard at the gym, eating lean proteins, complex carbs, and a shit ton of fruits and veggies to be as healthy as they can, just to hear from complete strangers that they look “disgusting”. Just know that it goes both ways. How do you think it makes me feel when I see posts that say that “only dogs like bones” when, because I’ve been working out and eating healthier, my hip bones have started to protrude? I’m a healthy size 6, so how do you think those posts make my healthy size 2 bestie feel, if they make me self-conscious?

And another thing about this is, I wonder how many of those size 14+ women who are pissed off about Lululemon would truly be 14+ if they used those yoga pants to go to yoga instead of to the movies? At the risk of sounding like an asshole and having everyone dislike me, I’m going to say that perhaps most 14+ women aren’t a healthy size 14. Don’t get me wrong, there are women who are a perfectly healthy BMI and whose doctors will say they are doing everything right and are a size 14+. That’s the beauty of the world – we’re all different. But how many 14+ women would drop down to a 10, 12, or even lower, with the recommended 30 minutes of cardio a day and a healthier lifestyle? I’m not pointing fingers, I’m not saying everyone who is a 0-12 works out for 30 minutes a day and eats a balanced diet. Lord knows I eat my fair share of pizza, chocolate, and french fries. But I don’t blame society or clothing lines for the clothes that I cannot fit into or that don’t look good on me. When I try on clothes at Garage and they stretch to the point of picture distortion on the t-shirt, that’s not the store’s fault. I don’t get mad. I either a) go somewhere else to buy clothes or b) go for a run and then go somewhere else to buy clothes. You might be saying to yourself, “But, Garage is targeted more toward teens. Younger teens, even.” My point exactly.

Lululemon doesn’t need to make sure they appeal to every person. Maybe they shouldn’t be publicly saying that larger women shouldn’t wear their clothes, but an athletic clothing company shouldn’t be made to feel bad for their target market being athletic body types, aka what society has deemed to be “healthy” size 0-12. If a store’s clothes don’t fit you, there are a ton of other stores with clothes that will fit you. You just need to find what that is and understand that not every product is for every person. And that is okay.

A Comment on Annoying Yourself

When I began this blog I said that it was about discovering those pieces of the kaleidoscope of my soul that sit next to each other. I said that each piece is so different, yet fits perfectly beside the next and that I wanted to explore them. Today I discovered this disgustingly dark brown, sludgey coloured piece of kaleidoscope sitting next to an unsuspecting and beautifully vibrant orange piece.

I am in a program at school that asks tough questions. It asks questions that make us think about what we believe, past a superficial understanding of ourselves. We touch on topics that force us to look at what we may have done to contribute to systemic racism, topics that ask us to dissect our view of the future generations and what they can achieve, topics that ask us to explore our values, ones we perhaps didn’t even know we had. And what does that mean for us as individuals? As the people who have the power to possibly shape future young minds? We touch on a lot of topics that have a variety of answers, none of which are wrong, but all of which have complex and potentially controversial responses.

These are wonderful topics. They are important topics to explore in terms of personal development and finding out who we really are and what we’re really all about. My brain hurts thinking about these questions, it makes me uncomfortable, it makes me grow. That is the illuminated orange – the way my soul thrives in its sea of discomfort, disruption, inquiry, and a certain uncertainty. But directly attached to that is where I found the muddy, swampy, slimy brown color.

Today I was sitting in class, silently thinking to myself and processing the conversation we were having. I have thoughts and opinions on the topic but I do not want to share them. I continue to sit there and think and – OH! I hear my own voice speaking the words I am thinking. How did that happen? When did that happen? And WHY do I sound so God-damn passionate about it? You see, I have these opinions. Maybe I shouldn’t even call them opinions. They are general wonderings, little opinion fetuses, not fully developed. But in speaking, these little fetuses turn into giant, adult sumo wrestlers, grappling with everything that opposes them. Am I really that opinionated? Do I even truly believe the words I am apparently speaking so passionately about? Why can’t I articulate my thoughts in a more politically-correct way? Do I sound like a complete asshole to anyone else? And if these words uncontrollably gushing out of my mouth are just wonderings, un-concrete ideas, why am I sharing them out loud?

What is worse, this happens frequently. And I find it annoying. This repulsing brown, this opinionated, passionate voice, is annoying to me. Not just annoying. It’s irritating. You know that feeling when you are just so tired of something, so frustrated with it, that your skin feels like it is buzzing? Your shoulders feel tense and there is nothing in the world that you want more than for it to go away, to stop? That is what this sharing of my fetus-opinions is to me. It is the nails on the chalkboard, the crunch of a carrot in complete silence. Irritating. And it feels somewhat uncontrollable. It is a part of the kaleidoscope that I’d like to switch out. But the colours of a kaleidoscope are stuck, trapped, within the constricting confines of the cylindrical container.

So here is my question: Can I ponder these topics and grow from them and not share my opinion with others? The answer is, of course, yes. Nobody has to speak out loud. But can I not share out loud? I legitimately try not to speak sometimes. I make a conscious effort to stay silent. And yet, I find myself hearing my own voice. How annoying. And if I find myself this annoying, what must others think when I open my mouth and speak? How mortifying!

But do I really care what they think? Is me opening my big mouth and sharing my unformed thoughts helping me in my own understanding of myself and therefore, I do not care what other people have to say about my thoughts? Perhaps that is why I find myself speaking when I don’t intend to. I just can’t be bothered to care about what it sounds like on the outside of my brain.

I think that it is okay to be stuck in this place of being completely annoyed with the sound of my own voice and completely unsure of what to do. If I were never uncomfortable with myself, how boring would that be?! I am unsure of how to grow from this place of annoyance, though. Do I change my behaviour to un-annoy myself? Or do I accept the mossy, goopy brown that sits beside such a soul-warming orange? My soul is a kaleidoscope, after all. The colors are beside each other whether I like it or not. It isn’t my place to change that; it is my place to be conscious of it and explore the contrast in all of it’s disgustingly wonderful discord.

“It Takes A Lot To Ruin My Day”

*Originally posted June 4, 2015*

“It takes a lot to ruin my day.”

I heard a co-worker say this today. My immediate thought was, “I wish I was like that!” because I find that things going wrong/other people’s actions can have a large negative effect on my day. And I really wonder why.

I am a very emotional person. Most people think “emotional” and think screaming and crying at the slightest upsetting event. But I’ve come to realize that “emotional” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Yes, I cry when I watch movies and read books and I get quite angry and annoyed when people are stupid, but I also feel all of the happy emotions in a very big way, too. I can read a birthday card and become quite touched at the kind words and get teary, when I hear a really good joke (and when I say a good joke, I mean good to me. The horribly cheesy jokes are the best) I laugh REALLY hard and feel the happiness all throughout myself. I think the biggest and best example of the good part of me being “emotional” is the way that I love people. I am very emotional so I feel everything very strongly. When I love you, I really love you. I want to make you happy, I want to help you, I am proud of you, I support you, I am happy in your presence…and, again due to the emotional part of me, me being happy means I am really happy. I giggle, I get all bubbly and excited, and I have fun. I really think that those good emotions and the way that I am “emotional” in that aspect are some of my best qualities and I am happy that I feel good things in those ways. (I think those that I love are happy about it, too!)

However, there are the sad/upsetting emotions that I feel just as strongly. Having to spend time with people that drive me crazy makes me really grumpy, I get nit-picky at times about my pet peeves and I get really angry and frustrated, and when something goes wrong I am quick to tear up and cry. I can be quite whiney at times and me and misery do love company. I like to be comforted by those that I love and don’t like dealing with things by myself.

Now, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how my emotions affect me and how they aren’t necessarily a bad thing. I’ve learned how to better deal with the bad emotions and how to hold on to the happy ones. I have an amazing support system that I can turn to when I’m upset. My family, boyfriend, and friends are truly the most amazing people I’ve ever met and I owe, really, my mental health to them lol

But I haven’t really spent enough time thinking about how my being emotional affects them. I vent about the stupid people I run into (I work in customer service. They. Are. Everywhere.), I get grouchy and it’s probably worse when I’m grumpy than when the average person gets grumpy because I am quite emotional, and when something goes wrong and I cry, I lean on the people nearest to me which, unfortunately, happens often. One of the biggest and best examples of the bad part of being emotional is probably when I’m lonely. When I’m lonely, I cry, I wanna talk, I wanna be around people. (Doesn’t everyone?) But that means that my mom, my friends, my boyfriend, don’t really get any Niki-free time. This part of my emotional being has to be exhausting for them. Actually, I know it’s exhausting for them as realizing that is what prompted this blog post. And now I know it might sound kind of dramatic, but I don’t want loving me to be an exhausting task.

What would I do if someone was very upset about things going wrong, feeling overwhelmed and stressed weekly, crying, and getting frustrated with me more often than the average bear? Would it be okay because they were also super bubbly and excited about seemingly small things and that often makes me feel happy, too? Would it be okay because I loved them for all of the wonderful things that they are? Or would it make me angry, tired, and sick of them?

This is one of the colours of my soul that sits beside a contrasting colour and I’m not sure how much I like them sitting together. Why can’t the happy emotional live without the bad emotional? Is it wrong to label it “bad emotional”?

I think perhaps it would be best to try meditating more. Taking more naps when I’m sleepy so I don’t get grumpy. Taking a moment to put things into perspective when things go wrong. Venting via journaling. Maybe when I take an active approach, I will be able to say, “It takes a lot to ruin my day.” And maybe when that happens, I will still be “emotional” but I won’t also be exhausting.

** Reading this after I wrote it, I sound bipolar. I promise I’m not lol I’m just more emotional than the average person. Not so much so that I am clinically diagnosed as having any sort of mood disorder, though 😛 **